In a four-day layover in Eau Cleazy, SOL gets sick of waiting for their plane, and hops in the car to drive 20 hours south to the Lonestar State. The only state in the union that can legally fly their flag equal to the US flag. Everything's bigger here. One can succumb to their cravings for ginormous burritos the size of one's head at the seemingly 40,000 Chipotles in Texas.
Centex 2009. Where bitches are owned and babies are eaten. Where the strong feast on pizza buffets, and the weak eat old jell-o and tapioca pudding at the old folk's home.
We have spent months training for this tourney. And days training for our dance.
My car-ride was filled with N'Sync, Daddy Pat dance moves, miraculously fitting between three seats and sleeping on the floor in the car, torrential downpours in Oklahoma, pissing off gas station workers, meeting creepers in the gas stations, and drooling on my arm several times. We drew lots of pictures of motivation for our SIS...and Daddy Pat too. Alas, we roll into Austin and drop our stuff of at Mark's house to explore Austin a little. Lovin' the vibe in the town, Cole and I grab the statue inappropriately. As our team snaps shots, a city bus pulls up, and immediately its passengers start taking pictures.
After a little exploration, we head to the social mixer. (It's actually located across the street from the nomba wan church in all of Austin.) We roll in and it's crowded, but not jumpin. We decide to get things started in Eau Cleazy fashion. Everyone was lookin spiffy. We looked like we just got out of the car from a 20 hour car ride. With our hair all greaze-tastic and our under-eye bags glowing like Tracie's glow-worm she had as a young child, we decide to mingle with my retractable blade plastic knife I found in my captains pack.
UC-SB comes up and starts a little conversation.
UCSB girl: "Where are you guys from?"
Robyn: "Wisconsin-Eau Claire"
UCSB girl: "Is that the University of Wisconsin?"
Robyn: "No, not the Bellas."
UCSB other girl: "Is that like Carleton?"
Robyn: "No. We're by Carleton, but in Wisconsin. We're from Eau Claire, it's like an hour or so out of the Twin Cities though."
UCSB girl: "Oh, gotcha"
(No she doesn't)
UCSB girl: "Want to play some flip cup?"
Robyn: "Hell yes we do."
Robyn, Brit, Lauren, Cole, and Roxie rush to the table with their cups of iced tea and water, ready to rock the show.
Rule of advice. Don't challenge a team you've never heard of from WISCONSIN to a drinking game. Just because you've never heard of us, doesn't mean we won't beat you. Especially without alcohol.
Everyone=chug. One and done. Except for Roxie. She was sipping too slowly for my liking. Roxie, this isn't a sippy cup. Some people in other states don't have enough to drink. Luckily she's decent at flipping when the cup is far enough off the edge for her...it only took her a few minutes to get it there. Okay, maybe an exaggeration....but she was no "one and done" champ like the rest of us were. Regardless, Eau Cleazy 2, UC-SB 0.
USC taps me on the shoulder as we walk away victorious from the table, looking for a challenger from the Central Region to take them on in pokey. Our team, full of pokey newbs, accepts, winning all of their matches. I, however, did not own the trivia contest.
We leave the mixer to practice our dance and return home to learn the skeez.
Wake up on Saturday to be greeted by the rest of our team rolling in at 8:51. We started at 9 am. We played some SICK zone D and field position O to come out over Illinois. They may be one of the most enjoyable teams to play. Such great spirit, great attitudes, great sense of humor. And, "listen," they crash the zone like no body's business. Their handles have sick fakes. Watch yo'self Great Lakes region. Menace is on a rampage to kill your babies, boil them, and create a baby stew. Seasoned with love from puppies and mystical pegasus wings. Eau Claire win, 12-3.
After Tracie's dad got tatted up with the rest of us, we were ready to rock for game number two.
Our next game was against Florida. Their offense was run primarily through their handler in the orange leggings. She tried hucking deep to her 6'1'' receiver. I may have been licking my chops a little bit, baiting that throw just a little too much, but I definitely was jumpin' reeeeal good that day. "Oh Shit." was called. We shut down their hucking game, and they had few options under, because our zone was bomb-diggity. Boom-shaka-laka-laka. Martha even skied a girl who was 6 feet tall. Sick rake. UWEC win, 15-4.
Our last pool game was against the dinosaur lovin' Greenshirts of Clairemont, Even though they were wearing blue shirts...their jerseys were bad fuckin ass. It was like a bag o' dinosaur fruit snacks spilled out on their shirt, and they said, "This is bomb enough. We'll take 20 of them." Led by handler Erika Baken, they had some chill O. Their strong swings were not enough for the SOL zone and UWEC won 15-2. I threw Kate Peot on my shoulders and she made dinosaur noises. We did construct a scale-size model of a brontosaurus. It was cool.
In order to qualify for the championship bracket, we had to beat Pitt in a play-in game. Pitt went 0-3 in their pool. Coming off a long break, we were ready to get the game going. After scoring two quick points, Pitt went on a huge run. Poor spirit and body checking by Pitt's handlers were throwing our girls to the ground. We got a little discouraged....our first higher caliber tournament and having to deal with bullshit. Not a ton of fun, especially for our newbs. Some missed layout D's and misplaced dump/swings, caused some points for Pitt. They took us to half 7-2. But we came back all engines firing at 10-3. Soft cap went off. We went on a HUUUUGE run. In less than 10 minutes, the score was 10-8. The last point, a marathon point, ended in Pitt's favor. We lost 11-8.
Centex Danceoff 2009. Biggest heartbreak evah.
We practiced, rehearsed....for 3 days. We did not succumb to the dirty dance fest that was catchin' on. Rather, we went for the more challenging, formation-approached dance. Pyramids, line switching, double cartwheels with broken fingers, tumbling passes, the worm, river dance, Daddy Pat's river dance solo, swagga' swagga' fly bomb moves. We were all hitting our cues, right on key....yet we did not win. We tied for 2nd. That sucks.
We woke up early on Sunday, ready to play. We went up against Georgia 4-3. Then, more poor spirit displayed by the Georgia coach...that took the form of yelling at me and Daddy Pat over a mis-interpretation on her part of the rules. (It was confirmed by the guy running the observer clinic that we were indeed right) Effected by the yelling on the sidelines, it was a bit hard to focus. After two especially bad calls at the end of the game in the deciding points (a trip in the endzone with no play on the disc over Iansa, and a non-foul sick shoulder high legit layout D by yours truly) we lost 10-8.
We headed over a field to face the Betty's of Kansas. One of my new favorite teams, these girls have heart, soul, and sweet dance moves. I'm really stoked that they received the FIVE ultimate growth sponsorship this year. I could not think of program more deserving of the Bettys. They uphold spirit and are at the top of the up and coming teams that I've seen around. They play hard, and with smiles on their faces. Love them.
After a victory over Kansas, we faced Illinois again. We were tired. We were beat. But we didn't roll over and die. We fought it out with our fav. team at Centex. But lost a hardfought game.
We forfeit our last one to Arizona to get a head start home and to stop at a Chinese Buffet that Pat found on his GPS. We get there, it's not open. So we roll down the street to the other one that is open. We walk in and there is no nomba wan Chinese buffet on Sunday. Just regular food. However they totally accommodate and make us the "all star buffet" featuring the very best of every buffet. It was glorious.
We played a little game called "if our team was trapped on on a desert island, who would we kill first." Order of the first 3 deaths:
1) Kate Peot...good size bones for weapons
2) Tracie Anderson...tall, lanky....good for a skewer.
3) Anna Hettler....undisclosed reasons
People we don't kill:
1) Paula Meyer...she can kill, clean, and cook anything.
2) Daddy Pat
Ride home:
We run into a caravan of softball players who were like 12 years old. Their windows painted in team motivation. Go Emma! So we write a sign, roll up creepily next to each van, beep wave, and yell "Go Emma!" Daddy Pat and I in the front seat, see a guy with a tentacle arm. We immediately make up a dance. It's the new craze sweepin the nation...more so than deforestation, furbys, pogs, and lincoln logs.
Highlights:
-My shoulder high layout D called foul...bullshit...but it was legit.
-Anna Hettler schooling many with a broken finger.
-Paula's thigh tats with the suck it dance. Classy.
-Daddy Pat knowing his stuff, and totally being on top of the rule b.s. during the Georgia game.
-Zone defense.
-"Swagga' swagga' like us"
-Flashing the HOT pink SOL in our Centex Dance
-Brit Gartner owning up on other noooobs in the Rook Showcase Game
-J-Wo's "Listen" cut off that she rocked in the Illinois/Eau Cleazy game
-Kansas Betty's awesome dance moves
-Double cartwheels
-Toll workers wearing gloves
-Our names not being screened on the FIVE apparel for Centex...we get discounted correctly printed merch...
-Getting our womens initiative shwag and sportin' it for our Girl Scout Camp in 3 weeks.
-Bling. Bling. Blang.
Ready to strike at sections.
USC taps me on the shoulder as we walk away victorious from the table, looking for a challenger from the Central Region to take them on in pokey. Our team, full of pokey newbs, accepts, winning all of their matches. I, however, did not own the trivia contest.
We leave the mixer to practice our dance and return home to learn the skeez.
Wake up on Saturday to be greeted by the rest of our team rolling in at 8:51. We started at 9 am. We played some SICK zone D and field position O to come out over Illinois. They may be one of the most enjoyable teams to play. Such great spirit, great attitudes, great sense of humor. And, "listen," they crash the zone like no body's business. Their handles have sick fakes. Watch yo'self Great Lakes region. Menace is on a rampage to kill your babies, boil them, and create a baby stew. Seasoned with love from puppies and mystical pegasus wings. Eau Claire win, 12-3.
After Tracie's dad got tatted up with the rest of us, we were ready to rock for game number two.
Our next game was against Florida. Their offense was run primarily through their handler in the orange leggings. She tried hucking deep to her 6'1'' receiver. I may have been licking my chops a little bit, baiting that throw just a little too much, but I definitely was jumpin' reeeeal good that day. "Oh Shit." was called. We shut down their hucking game, and they had few options under, because our zone was bomb-diggity. Boom-shaka-laka-laka. Martha even skied a girl who was 6 feet tall. Sick rake. UWEC win, 15-4.
Our last pool game was against the dinosaur lovin' Greenshirts of Clairemont, Even though they were wearing blue shirts...their jerseys were bad fuckin ass. It was like a bag o' dinosaur fruit snacks spilled out on their shirt, and they said, "This is bomb enough. We'll take 20 of them." Led by handler Erika Baken, they had some chill O. Their strong swings were not enough for the SOL zone and UWEC won 15-2. I threw Kate Peot on my shoulders and she made dinosaur noises. We did construct a scale-size model of a brontosaurus. It was cool.
In order to qualify for the championship bracket, we had to beat Pitt in a play-in game. Pitt went 0-3 in their pool. Coming off a long break, we were ready to get the game going. After scoring two quick points, Pitt went on a huge run. Poor spirit and body checking by Pitt's handlers were throwing our girls to the ground. We got a little discouraged....our first higher caliber tournament and having to deal with bullshit. Not a ton of fun, especially for our newbs. Some missed layout D's and misplaced dump/swings, caused some points for Pitt. They took us to half 7-2. But we came back all engines firing at 10-3. Soft cap went off. We went on a HUUUUGE run. In less than 10 minutes, the score was 10-8. The last point, a marathon point, ended in Pitt's favor. We lost 11-8.
Centex Danceoff 2009. Biggest heartbreak evah.
We practiced, rehearsed....for 3 days. We did not succumb to the dirty dance fest that was catchin' on. Rather, we went for the more challenging, formation-approached dance. Pyramids, line switching, double cartwheels with broken fingers, tumbling passes, the worm, river dance, Daddy Pat's river dance solo, swagga' swagga' fly bomb moves. We were all hitting our cues, right on key....yet we did not win. We tied for 2nd. That sucks.
We woke up early on Sunday, ready to play. We went up against Georgia 4-3. Then, more poor spirit displayed by the Georgia coach...that took the form of yelling at me and Daddy Pat over a mis-interpretation on her part of the rules. (It was confirmed by the guy running the observer clinic that we were indeed right) Effected by the yelling on the sidelines, it was a bit hard to focus. After two especially bad calls at the end of the game in the deciding points (a trip in the endzone with no play on the disc over Iansa, and a non-foul sick shoulder high legit layout D by yours truly) we lost 10-8.
We headed over a field to face the Betty's of Kansas. One of my new favorite teams, these girls have heart, soul, and sweet dance moves. I'm really stoked that they received the FIVE ultimate growth sponsorship this year. I could not think of program more deserving of the Bettys. They uphold spirit and are at the top of the up and coming teams that I've seen around. They play hard, and with smiles on their faces. Love them.
After a victory over Kansas, we faced Illinois again. We were tired. We were beat. But we didn't roll over and die. We fought it out with our fav. team at Centex. But lost a hardfought game.
We forfeit our last one to Arizona to get a head start home and to stop at a Chinese Buffet that Pat found on his GPS. We get there, it's not open. So we roll down the street to the other one that is open. We walk in and there is no nomba wan Chinese buffet on Sunday. Just regular food. However they totally accommodate and make us the "all star buffet" featuring the very best of every buffet. It was glorious.
We played a little game called "if our team was trapped on on a desert island, who would we kill first." Order of the first 3 deaths:
1) Kate Peot...good size bones for weapons
2) Tracie Anderson...tall, lanky....good for a skewer.
3) Anna Hettler....undisclosed reasons
People we don't kill:
1) Paula Meyer...she can kill, clean, and cook anything.
2) Daddy Pat
Ride home:
We run into a caravan of softball players who were like 12 years old. Their windows painted in team motivation. Go Emma! So we write a sign, roll up creepily next to each van, beep wave, and yell "Go Emma!" Daddy Pat and I in the front seat, see a guy with a tentacle arm. We immediately make up a dance. It's the new craze sweepin the nation...more so than deforestation, furbys, pogs, and lincoln logs.
Highlights:
-My shoulder high layout D called foul...bullshit...but it was legit.
-Anna Hettler schooling many with a broken finger.
-Paula's thigh tats with the suck it dance. Classy.
-Daddy Pat knowing his stuff, and totally being on top of the rule b.s. during the Georgia game.
-Zone defense.
-"Swagga' swagga' like us"
-Flashing the HOT pink SOL in our Centex Dance
-Brit Gartner owning up on other noooobs in the Rook Showcase Game
-J-Wo's "Listen" cut off that she rocked in the Illinois/Eau Cleazy game
-Kansas Betty's awesome dance moves
-Double cartwheels
-Toll workers wearing gloves
-Our names not being screened on the FIVE apparel for Centex...we get discounted correctly printed merch...
-Getting our womens initiative shwag and sportin' it for our Girl Scout Camp in 3 weeks.
-Bling. Bling. Blang.
Ready to strike at sections.
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